Day 30

Tuesday’s Intake:
BW: whole wheat toast with fat free cottage cheese
AW: Protein powder w/ water
S: grilled tofu, ½ cucumber, tomatoes, vinaigrette
L: Kashi Go Lean cereal, light soy milk, protein w/ water, broccoli/carrots w/ ICBINB spray
S: blueberries, fat free cottage cheese, cinnamon, 1 oz. almonds
D: Frozen diet meal: creamed spinach and chicken

Yesterday’s Intake:
B: whole wheat toast with fat free cottage cheese
S: grilled tofu, ½ cucumber, tomatoes, vinaigrette, ½ avocado
S: protein w/ water, grapefruit w/ Splenda
D: Regular Sized Jamba Juice (strawberries, soy milk, ice, protein powder), beans w/ Calorie Free BBQ sauce

Rolling with the Punches:
It seems like life is just really beating me up lately. I’m just so stressed out about the office move, I’ve been working my BUTT off every day at work physically and mentally…I just am numb. Every morning I wake up I feel like I’m walking back in the ring again, ready to get slugged in the stomach over and over with one thing after another all day. I skipped the gym Wednesday and today because of this and I missed church last night. My life was stressful enough before this move; I was always running around running errands on my lunch breaks and heading straight to church after work…that is normal. But now I’ve just been pushed over the edge.

What’s the WORST part is I am doing about 95% of the packing/sorting/dumping/recycling work for the office move. For about 15 minutes total each day other employees have helped me out. That’s it. I’m an office manager, not a hard laborer. This is not my forte. I’m not used to have to lift heavy boxes and bins up and down flights of stairs and up and down 12 foot ladders. I’m exhausted. Every inch of me. I realize I’m the office manager and that’s why I’m the one who’s taking on most of this. But I certainly did not think that with 5 business days before the move I would STILL be the only one getting stuff together for the move, I thought everyone would be working on it by now. There is this one girl in the office who has told everyone: “I’m not lifting one box for this move, it’s not in my job description”. It makes me sick.

I’m expected to get all this move stuff done AND my normal job at the same time. I’m the receptionist so I’ve been carrying around my cordless phone answering all incoming phone calls at the same time I’m doing all of this! I’ve also been handling changing our address with all of our vendors, canceling/changing contracts, interviewing moving companies, researching storage units, meeting with the new landlord and getting all the bugs in the lease worked out, transferring phone lines….IT’S TOO MUCH.

Yesterday someone came up to me about a list that needs to be compiled of the companies we will be sending our “We’re Moving” postcards too. The way she was talking to me was as if I had absolutely nothing else to do but work on that one project. She’s like “We need to stop dragging our feet on this, this needs to be done by Friday”…I’m like, there are about five two-day projects I need to have done by Friday! I can’t do them all! How dare she say that I was dragging my feet! I’ve been working my butt off!!!!

I’ve also had a lot of personal business to attend to which has been using up my lunch breaks: DMV, changing my auto insurance, hair cut, grocery shopping, getting my windshield fixed, etc. So I don’t even get a real lunch break. This is what happened yesterday so I basically didn’t eat lunch and just scarfed down my afternoon snack instead. Then I was so hungry and tired after work, I went to Jamba Juice. I get home and I have 10 minutes to change for church. I told my husband I didn’t want to go I was too tired. I’m sure he didn’t intend to be mean, but he said something like “I’m tired too and I’m going, my work (he’s a roofer) is always hard and I still go.” It made me SO mad and hurt. So then he goes without me and I ate some beans because I was too tired to prepare anything. Then I went in bed and I couldn’t sleep. My body was exhausted but my mind just kept going and going: worrying, planning, thinking. Maybe it was because I’ve been having one of those 5-hour Energy shots about 3 times a week now so that I can have the energy to get everything done.

I just need a rest. I need to cry. I need to stop being belittled and underappreciated by everyone in my life.