Day 15

Yesterday's Intake:

BW: Wheat toast w/ low fat cottage cheese
AW: Protein powder w/ water
S: grilled chicken, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, 1/2 avocado, vinegrette
L: Tuna, 1 pickle, 1 slice whole wheat bread
S: red apple, low fat cottage cheese, cinnamon
D: 1 portion whole wheat pasta, stewed tomatoes, garlic and protein powder w/ water
S: fat free yogurt



Finally Weighed Myself:
It's been two weeks since I started eating healthy and going to the gym. Ya wanna know how much I lost???? 1 lb. That's right, just 1 measly little pound. I've been kicking myself in the butt for 2 weeks and all I lost was 1 pound.



I'm trying to not get discouraged because I know better. I know that the number on the scale is such a bad representation of the changes in my body. Body fat is a much better way to show progress, as well as how clothes are fitting. But I feel like this is just one more obstacle I have to try to hurdle to stay on track.



Is this normal? Should I change something? I know I am already doing my very, very best at the gym. I can't possible work out any harder or more frequently than I already am.



What about my food? Am I eating too much? I haven't been counting calories, I've just been trying to eat the right foods. So just to be curious, I plugged in everything I ate yesterday and it turned out to be a whopping 2,000 calories!!!! Last time I was counting my calories, I was pretty much anorexic and anything over 1,200 was forbidden. So this is sort of a shock.

I just did the math about how much calories are burned for my body in 1 day. The answer was approximately 2,191....I guess that's my answer right there, I am eating too much! I'm eating a healthy diet that would MAINTAIN my weight, but I need to create a daily deficit much higher than 191 calories. To lose about one-two pounds a week my daily deficit needs to be more like 1,000. (if anyone is curious about how I did any of my math, let me know and I'll tell you how. I took a 6 week nutrition course about 2 years ago and learned alot, I also have read ALOT of books about nutrition) Also, I should continue to try and make good choices on my cheat day.



Okay so it looks like I need to rework my diet plan today.....

Fat Burner Update:

Yesterday I posted my miserable reaction to Lipo 6 fat burner that I got as a free sample....well I took only 1 pill yesterday instead of 2 and I was fine. Still trying to decide whether or not I should buy a bottle.

I am the Cardio Queen:

Did 45 minutes of cardio today...huffing puffing sweating cardio. I've been doing good I think.

12 week Program:
Even though I started with my 1 year wedding anniversary as my date (fifty eight days) I will continue the challenge through to February 4. Because that will make it 12 weeks, to go along with the Body For Life challenge. Then hopefully I will not stop after that!

It always helps me to have a special occasion in the future to keep my goals in mind. In March there will be an assembly for my religion. We have these about 3 times a year and they last about 1-3 days. It's always a time that we get to enjoy spiritual encouragement and fellowship with friends we haven't seen in a while who are from other congregations. Anyways, it's a time where alot of women buy new dress outfits. These are always motivating times for me to lose weight so that I can buy a new dress and look great and feel confident when I see all my old friends (and perhaps ex boyfriends.) Come March (and there's another in June) I want to be able to wear a nice dress and love the feeling of being fit. I want to be able to wear a sleeveless dress in June and have biceps and triceps. That is what I keep on thinking about :) A la Madonna: she always shows her strong arms even in the most feminine clothes:

Empowering Article:
Found this article and it has stuck in my mind:

A Woman's Battle: Fighting the Perception of Femininity
By Lisa Sutton:

On the way to the gym the other day, while stopped at a red light, I happened to see two teen-aged girls, probably no more than fourteen or fifteen, walking down the sidewalk - certainly not a sight that would ever command my attention beyond a passing glance if that. However, these two young girls captured my attention. They wore tight, sleeveless half shirts and shorts cut high onto their thighs.

Immediately, I noticed that both of them were rail thin. I was thunderstruck. I couldn't believe my eyes! From where I sat in my car, I could see their collarbones. Their arms and legs were so thin that their knee and elbow joints looked disproportionately large and out of place. I watched them pass by and as they continued down the sidewalk, I couldn't help but note their protruding shoulder blades.
A few weeks later, mental images of these two young girls re-emerged as I leafed through a Victoria's Secret catalogue and noticed all of the waif-like figures that filled its pages. On every single page were images of the most unhealthy, mousy-looking women that I'd ever seen in my entire life. If women are supposed to strive to look like the models in these catalogues, then we are all in really big trouble.
Is this really the personification of "attractive" or what women in this society think that they are supposed to emulate to be desirable? As opposed to confident, self-assured young women, these women appear weak and sickly.
In my opinion, they look like victims, subject to anyone's whim. It's disgusting. So, what happens? Teenage girls are inundated with these images of what the media considers "attractive" and end up looking like they just stepped out of the cemetery. Personally, I think that it's absolutely criminal.
Intent upon understanding this mindset from the inside, I asked one of my training clients who once admitted that she struggles with her own body image. To give you some perspective, this woman is young, early twenties, attractive, and very, very, thin. Recently, she renounced her obsession with the scale and decided that she wanted to train with weights so she hired me and together, we began the journey toward physical fitness and self-awareness.
Through the course of our conversation, I learned that many of her contemporaries refused to lift weights as they were utterly convinced that lifting weights would give them bulging muscles and make them "look like men." She explained that her decision to weight train met with some stiff resistance from her comrades. Apparently, to these women, an increase in muscularity is synonymous with relinquishing their "femininity."
Which makes sense considering that to facilitate the efficient use of a bow and arrow, legend has it that upon the birth of a female infant, the Amazons would sear one breast so that it would not develop. Consequently, the mere mention of the word "weight lifting," to most women brings to the forefront mental pictures of humongous, breast-less, likely unattractive, physically imposing women.
So, on one end of the continuum lie images of massive female warriors which society condemns and on the other end, lie images of wafer-thin models which society considers feminine and attractive. Given many women's association of increased muscularity with Amazonian-type, "manly" physiques, its not at all surprising that young girls strive to become paper thin thus "feminine" which results in malnourished, underdeveloped teen-aged girls that remain little better than one meal away from their coffins. Outright criminal.

Every time that I train a woman, I am fighting against the images of what this society considers "attractive" and "desirable." With every single repetition, my female clients are waging a battle within. On the one hand, they want to be healthy and physically fit but on the other hand, they are deathly afraid that lifting weights and increasing muscularity will make them look too "masculine" thus undesirable.
I have one question. Since when did men obtain a monopoly on muscularity? When did it come about that muscular men are attractive and muscular women are amazons? What is to be gained by keeping women from developing their physiques to their maximum genetic capabilities? Do women that weight train transform into The Hulk?.
Absolutely not. Why? Because women just do not have the requisite testosterone to build large, bulging muscles. Absent anabolic steroids, it ain't gonna happen.
What I have noticed, however, is that when women weight train and begin to fill out their own physical frames, they begin an inner transformation. These women experience an increased sense of self-esteem, a more positive self-image, and become much more self-assured. Women, who previously apologized for their very existence by walking with their heads down and shoulders slumped, walk a little bit taller and exude a bit more self-confidence.
Instead of attempting to erase their own existence with a wafer-thin appearance, women that strive toward fitness by developing their physiques and increasing their strength command power through their very presence. Are these "amazon-like," "masculine," thus undesirable attributes? Well, I suppose that it depends upon whom you ask.

To those that find themselves threatened by a self-assured woman, strength and muscularity are undesirable; i.e. "amazon-like." But, for those that are internally secure - a woman that commits to developing her muscles and increasing her strength; are the pinnacle of attractive and does not rival a woman's "femininity."
For my money; strength, muscular development and femininity are not inversely related. On the contrary, increased strength and muscularity are the cornerstones upon which to build an unwavering self-image and an unforgiving sense of self-confidence.

If you are a woman that battles with self-image ask yourself this, do you want the power to define your own self and what is considered feminine, attractive and desirable or are you willing to merely accept what the media shoves down your throat.
Women need to reclaim the power to define what is feminine, attractive and desirable. Take control and define your own self. At the end of the day, the choice remains entirely yours.